Jordan, Amber, and Mr. Milo

Jordan, Amber, and Mr. Milo

Friday, June 8, 2012

Kristan Ruby - year 3

It has been 3 years since I got the phone call.  The most terrifying call of my life.  The phone call that told me my best friend had gone back to heaven.  I remember that day exactly..  I remember falling to the ground and not being able to stand back up.  I remember crying so hard I couldn't breath, I couldn't stand, I couldn't eat or drink for days... A lot has changed since that day 3 years ago.  And today felt different than this same day the last 2 years.  Today I didn't moan and groan and stay in bed.  Today I wanted to celebrate a life that meant so much to me, and not really mourn because it was gone.  And that is exactly what I did.  I went through old pictures, read some thoughts in the book I made for her after she died, put flowers on her grave, laughed when I had to explain the reasoning behind old photos to my husband, cried while explaining others... Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.  I honestly don't think a day ever will.  And I am glad about that.  Memories use to be painful.  They reminded me of a feeling I knew I wasn't going to have anymore.  A reminder of a bond that few have felt in this world.  These same memories are now something I treasure, things I want to think about and be reminded of.  They pick me back up in my darkest times.  President Monsen once said that God gave us memories so we could have roses in the "December's" of our lives.  My memories of Kristan are roses, and if she had her choice they would be pink ones :)  I am so lucky I was able to get to know someone who was so hard to lose.  And I thank Heavenly Father everyday for the time I got to spend with her.  

Kris- you are so missed and loved.  I am so thankful for the tender mercies you, and Heavenly Father, send my way each day.  Fly high Mrs. Ruby, and always watch over me.  

Love always, Ambi